


Dirty Details

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Babysitting, Children of Characters, Drama, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Feelings, Feels, Funny, Funny situations, Gotham City - Freeform, Hilarious, Joker - Freeform, Joker dcu - Freeform, Jokes, Love, Male Bonding, Relationship(s), Romance, Suicide Squad, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker fanfic, The Joker imagine, The Joker/you - Freeform, The joker/reader - Freeform, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 00:29:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17335271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: Frost is finally going on vacation for 2 weeks with his wife and you agreed to take care of his two boys. Mister J was hard to convince, but you always have your way in the end. You can be very…persuasive.





	Dirty Details

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

You love Jonny’s sons, they are absolutely adorable: Kaden is 6 years old and Zane is 5. They will stay with you at your hideout in the woods because it will feel like a vacation for you also. The same can’t be said about the Joker; he was completely against you two babysitting for so long.

“Uncle J, can we watch a movie?” Kaden asks, slowly heading towards the bedroom where him and his brother will sleep.

“Don’t call me that, I’m not your uncle!” he bitterly replies, putting his guns away. He is extra grouchy because you told him to stash away everything a kid shouldn’t be around.

“Auntie Y/N, can we watch a movie, please?” Zane shyly tries his luck, knowing you probably won’t say no.

“She’s not your aunt,” J mumbles in the corner of the living room, locking away the guns and the knives in the seif.

“Yes, of course, you guys go to your room and put away your things, then come back,” you smile, ignoring the Joker’s shitty attitude.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he scoffs as he closes the seif.

You choose not to answer, digging around for a movie in your collection.

After the shower, J comes back to the living room to find the boys cuddled to you, half asleep.

“Move, brats!” he demands, stretching his back.

The young one gets watery eyes, his lower lip quivering:

“Auntie Y/N is mine…” he manages to utter, clenching to your arm.

“You wish! Move!”

“J, seriously?!” you sigh, exasperated.

“You’re so mean Uncle J,” Kaden pouts, sniffling.

“I’m not your uncle!” J growls, narrowing his eyes.

Kaden starts crying:

“Uncle J is so mean all the timeeee…” The boys crawl in your lap, upset someone is trying to take you away from them. You try to comfort both, kissing their foreheads and squeezing them tight to your chest.

The Joker takes a deep breath and sits down by you, resting his head on your shoulder. You elbow him, irritated he made the kids cry.

“But you’re mine,” he whispers in your ear, frowning. “Tell them to move.”

“What are you, three years old?!” you mutter through your clenched teeth. “Stop your crap!”

***After you avoided catastrophe and put Kaden and Zane to bed, you started fooling around with J because he wanted to apologize for being a jerk the best way he knows how. Not that you mind at all.

Suddenly, a knock on the door.

“Auntie Y/N,” Kaden calls out, “my little brother had a bad dream.”

You can hear Zane whimpering.

“Go back to bed, you’re fine!” J yells, pulling you back on top of him when you try to leave.

“Baby, he had a nightmare,” you try to reason with him while he continues to kiss you.

“Don’t care. They ARE the nightmare!”

“Come on, J, don’t be like that!” you sigh, fully aware he’s dead serious.

“But I’m already naked, we have to finish what we started!” he complains, slapping your thigh.

“Uncleee Jaayyy, I’m scared,” Zane bawls his eyes out outside the door now.

“Dammit!!!” the Joker closes his eyes, deliberating on what he should do while you take advantage of the situation and get off him, starting to put your nightgown on. “This is so not cool, doll ” he shakes his head and finally gets out of bed, grabbing his shorts and getting dressed, unamused at the ordeal he has to go through.

He goes and opens the door, Zane immediately rushing in to hug his legs, crying. J rolls his eyes, resigned. Kaden just stands there and you signal him to come in.

The Joker picks up the young boy and he wraps his arms around J’s neck, weeping on his shoulder.

“Stop crying, you pest, it’s fine.” He’s a natural with kids.

Mister J turns around:

”Hey, what are you doing?” he grumbles seeing Kaden cuddled to your body.

“Come here, my little baby, did you have a bad dream?” you gesture for J to bring Zane over.

“Y-Y-yes,” he stammers, reaching his hands for you.

“Really, Princess? They’re not our children, they shouldn’t be in our bed,” he states the evident fact like it’s some kind of news flash.

“Give it a rest, will you? Let them be!”

He talks to himself in a low voice, saying not very nice things for sure, but gets in bed nevertheless.

“Scoot over, kid, I wanna sleep by my girl. Can I do that at least?” J sarcastically asks but of course Kaden doesn’t get the tone in his voice. He crosses over to the other side of your body, this way you two are in the middle like the Joker wanted.

“I hate kids,” he whispers in your ear.

“No you don’t, baby. We will have some too.” You keep on caressing Zane’s head, reaching over J’s chest.

“Oh, hell no, no way that’s gonna happen.”

“We are so having some, at least two.”

“Shut up and rinse your mouth with holy water, Kitten.”

You start laughing softly.

“I might be pregnant right now, you never know,” you wink, teasing him while the boys are quietly dosing off.

“Jesus, Pumpkin, don’t give me a heart attack, I’m too young,” he huffs, unhappy at your little joke.

*** “I’m going to marry Auntie Y/N!” Kaden decides after finishing breakfast.

“Sorry, brat, she’s already taken,” the Joker spoils the fun like he usually does.

“No, I’m gonna marry her!” Zane screams, ignoring J.

“No, I’m older, she’s mine!”

“No, Auntie Y/N is mine!”

They start fighting and you watch, entertained.

“Aww, how cute. Hey, boys,” you get in between them, ”you can both marry me, ok?”

“Really?” the young one looks full of hope.

“Definitely!” you reassure them as they hold your hands in theirs.

“That’s bullshit!” J puckers his lips, aggravated. He’s so mature.

You glare his way, really wanting to kick him:

“Looks like I have three kids: a 39 year old, a 6 year old and a 5 year old. How did I manage that?!”

“Shut up, Princess.”

“Don’t tell my wife to shut up!” Kaden snaps, stepping in front of you. You lift your eyebrows, satisfied.

“Exactly, baby, be careful or my boys will tear you to pieces.”

“Yeah, right,” he taunts them, taking a sit on the couch.

“Kill the enemy, he’s being mean to our wife!!!!!” Kaden shouts, yanking Zane away and charging towards the Joker, jumping on him and yelling as loud as they can. And wow, the Joker cracks a smile while tickling them and trying to slam them on the couch. Holy shit on a stick, that’s absolutely insane.

*** J is walking around shirtless because he doesn’t really like to wear too much around the house.

The boys keep on staring at his tattoos, they sure look more interesting every time they see them.

“Uncle J, are you really God’s only child?” Kaden asks, curious the hear the answer.

You giggle, lifting your eyes from the book you’re reading. I guess J gave up on asking them not to call him uncle because they don’t care anyway.

“Hmmm, it’s quite possible, brat.”

“Wowww, did you ever see God?” Zane inquires, both of them with their mouth opened, anticipating his reply.

“A lot of times.”

The boys gasp.

“So many times, about 10 to 12 times a week with your Auntie Y/N,” he grins, watching your eyes getting as big as plates.

“ J, what the hell?! ” you throw your pen at him and he dodges it, so pleased of his clever answer.

“Wow, Auntie Y/N, you saw God too?!” the boys turn towards you, amazed.

“Oh, yes, she did, I always make sure of that,” the Joker laughs, talking for you and biting his lips while you squirm in your armchair.

“Zip it, J !!!” you throw your book at him and miss. He keeps on laughing.

“How does God look like, Auntie? Is he big?”

You give J an evil glance and then you have the perfect comeback:

“Average,” you smirk at your little revenge.

J’s smile freezes on his face. Ha! Serves you right!

“I’ll show you average, you little smart ass!!!” the Joker heads towards you as you start running away with the boys chasing the two of you, screaming up a storm because they think you are playing around.

*** J took a shower and now he’s parading around the cabin with only a towel around his waist. You urged him to go put some clothes on because you have kids around and he had a temper tantrum so you decided to go and fix the problem.

“Here, boys, you can play video games on TV, OK? I have to go and talk to J and we’ll be back. Will you be good for me?”

“Yes, Auntie Y/N,” they both answer in the same time, pushing each other on the way to the couch, snickering.

You go in your master bedroom and you watch him for a few seconds as he slams stuff around, looking for something to wear, still mad. It makes you smile, he’s so dramatic sometimes. You lock the door, then sneak behind him and pull his towel away.

“I’m not in the mood for games,” he sulks, watching you throw the towel on the floor.

“I know why you’re grumpy, baby. You are sexually frustrated because we got interrupted last night.”

He squints his eyes, trying to say something but you don’t let him.

“I know exactly what you need, you have about 30 minutes before the boys get bored and come looking for us.”

You violently push him on the bed and his green hair gets all over his face.

“Jesus, woman, what the…” he lifts his head and watches you take your clothes off as fast as you can.

“Shut up! Like I said: about 30 minutes.”

“Wh-what am I supposed to do in only 30 minutes?!”

“Your best. Come on, let’s get it out of your system.”

“I’ll let you know, Kitten, this is not cool at all!… Ohhhh, come to Daddy,” he smirks when he sees you completely naked, forgetting his other speech.

“Try to be quiet,” you whisper, crawling on top of him and pressing your lips on his.

“I don’t wanna be quiet!” he gropes you, snarling.

“Jeez, stop being so feisty, you’re wasting time.”

*** You get your face out of the laptop, realizing it’s very quiet around the house. Where’s everybody? You walk around the cabin, then get outside. You circle around and finally see the Joker and the boys.

“See? You hold it like this and then you aim…”

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“I’m teaching them how to handle a gun,” he nonchalantly replies like it is the most normal thing in the world.

“Really?! Can you please put the gun away in the seif?! Seriously now!”

“But Uncle J is showing us his cool gun, we wanna see some moreeeee,” Kaden whines, causing Zane to do the same.

“Yes, we are doing some male bonding,” J yawns, kind of bored.

“Male bonding, male bonding!!!!!” the kids start jumping up and down, not understanding what he’s really referring to, but it sounds cool.

Maybe these brats have something going for themselves, the Joker thinks, watching you go back inside as you shake your head in disapproval.

*** Frost picked up his kids and now he’s driving back to Gotham, drinking his coffee and chatting with his wife while the boys are having fun in the back sit.

“Daddy, guess what?” Kaden gets his attention.

“What is it?”

“Did you know Uncle J saw God?”

Jonny smiles and the wife sighs. Ahhhh, kids...

“Did you know Auntie Y/N saw him too?”

“You don’t say, boys, that’s really something” he winks at the wife, sipping on the coffee.

“Yes, he said he sees God 10 to 12 times a week and he makes sure every time that Auntie sees him too.”

Frost spits out his coffee and slams the breaks in the middle of the road. He starts coughing, still choking while laughing with all his heart.

“I’ll be damned, we need to catch up, darling,” he says turning towards his wife while she chuckles, entertained at the revelation. He wipes his mouth beginning to drive again. And then he decides:

“We need to let them babysit more often, this way we can find out all the dirty details.”


End file.
